THreeway crossover revised
by spunt
Summary: Asoka,May and Ivy get pregnant. Left on cliffhanger of who may's child's farther was. Funny. Read and review. rated T for sex, talk of character death and executions.


The four way crossover

By

DISCLAMER I do not own Star wars the clone wars, Hogan Heroes , Where in the World is Carmon Santiago or Pokemon and I do not own any characters related to their respected shows.

chapter one

The begining

'Well Anakin if you would tell me why your Padwan is fat and pukes every morning that would be helpful oh wait no impossible….' Said obi-wan

'Oh god wait that is impossible is it not. I don't remember sleeping with anyone let alone have sex with them unless…. that's it I know now!' said Asoka

'who?' asked Anakin

'A kid by the name of Zack last week when he and his sister Ivy dropped in from were Nick and Matt Peppermint are remember? Asked Asoka

'Oh yah those Idiotic bitches who had sex with you.' said Anakin

'I think I am pregnant were are the tests?'

'Right here.'

**Ten minutes latter**

'Two pluses so yes I am.'

'How old was the kid anyway?'

No more then 13.'

'Ok we have to go and teach the kid to keep his sperm to himself.'

**Latter at the infirmary**

'Well Miss Tano you got the two week pregnancy.'

'When is the due date?'

'December 25 and who is the father?'

'Well I think it was this real nice kid named Zack.'

'From your description my guess is that he is a teenager correct?'

'Yes and only 13.'

'Oh any problems?'

'Well no expect I can't remember how this happened.'

'Let me again guess a one night stand?'

'Correct I don't seem to remember how they got here or why they were here something about the kid showing his sister the sites and she also is expecting.'

'Interesting so I will hack into the hospital database on Earth to see if your 'partner' is in a hospital.

'Well yes and look here it says that Zack peppermint is critical, Ivy peppermint is critical, Nick peppermint is critical and Matt peppermint is critical.'

'Wow who would of thought that they were related?

'They are actually cousins.'

'How did they get critical?'

'They were shot by a sniper who was found dead latter.'

'Bullet caliber and gun?'

'M16A1 and an 85 caliber armored piercing round.

'Oh lord no…. wait a minute the names of your friends have been deleted from the system and are now under DEAD.'

'Oh god no!'

**Asoka then fainted meanwhile on Earth**

**Two MPs arrived at Mr. and Mrs. Peppermint house**

'Were sorry but we must hand you this letter stating that your child will not come home.'

**The letter read**

**To Mr. and Mrs. peppermint**

**We regret to inform you that your sons Col.'s Nicholas and Matthew peppermint died on December 25 while attached to the ACHME Detective agency. We are very sorry for your loss and your sons will be getting The following awards: The Canadian officers medal, The French Legion Of Merit, The Victoria Cross With Bars, The Purple Heart, The Medal of Honor and the Dutch Cross with Swords. Your sons will be promoted to Field Marshal.**

**We are very sorry for your loss**

**The prime minister of Canada**

**Fucking Shit**

'The boys always wanted to be promoted and have a bunch of medals.'

**The parents faint meanwhile at the peppermint house across the street they get the same news but different wording**

'Miss. We are sorry to tell you that your son and your daughter were killed in action (KIA) while trying to capture Carmon Santiago. They died on December 25. We are very sorry for your loss.'

'Oh god! Why dose life have to be cruel!'

**They faint too meanwhile at the hospital**

'What the heck happened?'

"I don't remember getting my appendices taken out.'

'Us neither.'

'Uh why do I feel like I was shot?'

'That's because you were'.

**Asoka, Anakin and Obi-wan Kenobi walked in**

'You are not real.'

'Are we dead?'

'Hi guys."

'Hello guys.'

'What the bloody hell? Why are Zack I Hallucinating and seeing TV show characters that are not real?'

'We are real my young friend and we love you so lets have a big group hug then have sex!'

'AH!'

'AH!'

'AH!'

'AH!'

'Are we dead?'

'No but you all came close but officially you are dead oh and btw Zack and Ivy you service will be held at ten AM tomorrow and Nick and Matt your service will at the same time by your battalion.'

'What about our parents?'

'They believe that you are dead.

'We are dead then.'

'Well we actually came to see Zack.'

'Remember that time we had sex together?'

'No and I was never in your bed and I was with my sister at the hotel soaking my feet in hot water to keep the calluses away.'

'Well I am PREGNANT THANKS TO YOU IDIOTIC BITCH AND BASTARD NOT TO MENTION A SON OF A WHORE!'

'How could you be so naughty little brother!'

'I NEVER HAD SEX WITH HER OK!'

'I find that hard to believe.'

'How did you get pregnant then? By luck?'

'Well I had been planning for months without telling anyone but now that were dead it dose not matter.'

'How did you guys get there anyway?'

'Chief!'

'I am sorry I can not come to the communicator right now since I am a farther now please leave a message and I will get back to you.'

'Well are you getting an abortion or not?'

'NO!'

**AUTHORS NOTES; I will write more latter when I have time. The next chapter will focus on Pokémon and it might or might not have a graphic sex scene if you guys want. Read and review thank you!**

DISCLAMER I do not own Star wars the clone wars, Hogan Heroes , Where in the World is Carmon Santiago or Pokemon and I do not own any characters related to their respected shows.

Chapter two

The sex scene

'Oh Ash lets get those condoms from my bag and have sex.'

'I love you and you are sure about this?'

'Yes and it is safe sex so no worries since we got protection.'

'Let me get them. THERE NOT HERE!'

'Whats not here?'

'The condoms. I must of had put them in Max's bag by mistake.'

'Well at least he is set in case he wants to have sex.'

'Who cares may lets do it anyway.'

**They start then max walks in holding the condoms**

'What are you doing and is that what you are not supposed too? BTW I got these things called condoms that were in my bag so I came by to give them to you bye.'

'He almost seen us.'

'Lets just start and do it now I want you to be pregnant by December.'

**Ash took off everything along with May and since she was new he put his mouth on her perfect breasts and started to suck and at the same time she started to suck his penis and they did that along with French kissing for four hours.**

'Can we stop I'm overwhelmed at my first sexual experience.'

**Max suddenly walks in with both of them naked and in the same position as before and sucking**

'Come on we have to get going and I came to investigate the moaning that came from this room.

'We went having sex and getting me pregnant.'

'I saw the whole thing from my communicator and taped it so I have just sent it off to Mom and Dad about their daughters first sexual experience.'

**in the ketchup family house**

'Norm look Max has sent something labeled urgent read asap.'

'Lets find out what it is.'

**the email read**

**Dear Mom and Dad**

**Your daughter has had her first sexual experience with Ash and I have attached the video for you to see so if you are eating stop and just watch the movie and BTW I am still a virgin unlike your daughter.**

**(I will not rewrite it again so read it again.)**

They saw what had happened and fainted

**Meanwhile back at the hotel the group was in a argument about the sexual experience**

'Max I am not pregnant!'

'Really then how come you have all the sings; morning sickness enlarged breasts, felling poorly, wanting more sex and wanting to hide the fact that you had sex.'

'Well I will take the test to see if I am pregnant

**ten minutes latter**

'Oh god dam you son of a bitch go to bloody hell and may god forgive me when I slice your bloody guts out!'

'What May your actually pregnant?'

'Yes and now is the time for the talk about the birds and the bees.'

'I have read all about it in a book called SEX FOR DUMMIES'

'Max I will give you the talk anyway.'

**Thank you I make a good sex scene don't you think so? Read and Review thanks.**

Chapter three

the meeting

**But suddenly seven people dressed funny and having two who looked like they were expecting fell from the sky with two in military uniform and a alien.**

'MEDIC! MEDIC! THIS IS FIELD MARSHALS NICK AND MATT WE GOT WOUNDED GET OVER HERE ASAP!'

'No answer it seems that we are animated. Oh god no not POKEMON!'

'Well then lets go and tell them the talk about being from another dimension.'

'Bonjour. Placebo fancies?'

'Uh hello we speak English.'

'Matt frisk them full body and reproductive parts pat down.'

'I just had sex so no.'

'How old are you kid?'

'13 and who's asking?'

'Field marshal Lord, Duke of Canada Nicholas peppermint, Field Marshal Lord Duke of Canada Matthew Peppermint, Asoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Zack Peppermint and Ivy Peppermint that's who brat. It looks like her friend will be good meat for our unit Eh brother?'

'Yes he will Eh?'

"What's with all this thing called Eh? This kid is not for sale since he is my brother.'

'Name Rank and Serial Number.'

'I am not in the army so shut up you piece of fucking Shit.'

'Hey she knows the Prime Minister.'

'Since you are obviously in the army and pregnant we will shoot you then have your son pressed into our unit.

'My son what the hell?'

'Can we have some time alone for final goodbyes?'

'Sure but we will shoot you.'

'Max these men are crazy they want to shoot me and impress you into the Army of a weird nation called Canada.'

'May these two men who spoke to you are mere kids who happen to be Lords and are premature adults.

'What did they say about knowing the prime minister after I called them fucking shit?' How do you know that?'

'They seem young and in pain from being injured remember they called for a medic saying they had wounded?'

'Yes but what about those two they called Ivy and Asoka they seem to be pregnant?

'Do you think the Field Marshals knocked them up?'

'No lets go then.'

'We want your leader.'

'I am the leader Obi-wan Kenobi at your service younglings.'

'What the hell but your not real?'

'Yes we are as you can see from our gear we are from another dimension. Yours is not the only one."

"What?"

'Well that was exciting can I speak to the peppermint group in private if possible?' asked May

'Yes but be fast youngling.' Said Anakin

'Well first why are the two called Ivy and that thing called Asoka pregnant? Were you knocked up by the Field Marshals?' asked May

'No because for me and my brother their cousins and two Asoka is a friend that they know and three no.' said Ivy

'So um, can one of you give him you know the talk please since I am at a lost for words and he saw us you know do IT.' Said May

'Matt is this legal to give the talk to a kid under ten?' asked Nick

'No it is not since he will go have porn but we have to.' Said Nick

'Ok lets get started.' Said Zack

**Ten minutes latter in a secluded area**

'Now look Max we are here to talk to you about the birds and the bees.' Said Ivy

'Um I already know that so no.' said Max

'This talk is better we even will put a condom on our cousin Ivy!' said Nick

'Ok.'.' said Max

**They give him the talk and Max comes out amazed**

'Um thanks for that informative talk.' Said Max

'Your welcome next time it will be about Ivy's sexual experiences.' Said Zack

**Authors notes; this was a long chapter so sorry but next will have a few surprises so R&R.**

DISCLAMER I do not own Star wars the clone wars, Hogan Heroes, Where in the World is Carmon Santiago. Pokémon or M*A*S*H* and I do not own any characters related to their respected shows.

Chapter four

Finding M*A*S*H*

'Yay today is god save the queen day!' cried Nick

'I love this day.' Said Matt

**Suddenly a worm hole opens up and they are pulled in back to the peppermints reality but earlier**

'What the heck?' said Ivy

'We're in M*A*S*H*!' cried Nick

'I wonder which season?' asked Matt

'Lets hope that its after Hennery dies for I want to meet Col. Potter.' Said Matt

'Lets hope Radar is here and if so that means that BJ is here.' Said Nick

**Another portal opens up bringing down more people but from the past**

'Oh god It's Hogan's Heroes.' Said Matt

'Let me see everyone is here but where's Klink, Schultz or Langenscheidt?' asked Nick

'We are here make way for the Commandant.' Said Schultz

'Bloody hell I am seeing aliens, Field Marshals and pregnant kids what's next Jedi?' asked Newkirk

'Um hello we are Jedi.' Saud Anakin

'Blimy col. We have everything here.' Said Newkirk

'How did you get here?' asked Zack

'Well the Gestapo found our tunnel and tried to capture us but we got everyone out including the krauts and into here which is not London.' Said Lebou

'It's Korea 1952 during the Korean war.' Said Matt

'Let's find the 4077th.' Said Nick

**They walk for a few hours and eventually they find the 4077th**

'Hello there strangers I am col. Sherman Potter and I command this M*A*S*H* unit. Said Potter

'Col. We have men who come from the future, men from the past, Jedi and pregnant teenagers so give us a place to stay or your show will be canceled earlier then planed. Said Matt

'Show?' asked Potter in shock

'Yes you are on TV and how might I ask is your grandchildren?'

'My gra..grand..grand children? Asked Potter not wanting to get upset

'Yes and can you attend to the pregnant woman first then Hogan's Heroes and the Germans. Said Nick

'Hogan's Heroes who are they?' asked Potter

'They are the people that dropped in with us.'

'Yes we will take care of them anything else?'

'No and if you do not salute me or my brother we will have you shot for not saluting a long list of medals winner.' Said Matt

"Ok son and how old are you two by the way? Asked Potter

'Thirteen.' Said Nick

**Authors notes Will write more soon.**

DISCLAMER I do not own Star wars the clone wars, Hogan Heroes, Where in the World is Carmon Santiago. Pokémon or M*A*S*H* and I do not own any characters related to their respected shows.

Chapter five

execution

'Hey Beej look at the hot new nurses coming through to be put on Hot Lips staff.' Said Hawkeye

'Yeah I know lets go and streak into their tent naked.' Said B.J.

'"No lets go and say hello instead and then have sex with them…' said Hawkeye

**Suddenly Radar comes into the Swamp**

'I'm sorry to bother you sirs but there are girls in the compound' said Radar

'Girls? Not nurses?' asked Hawkeye who was now confused

'Yes sir teenage girls and no raping col. Potters orders.' Said Radar

'Look Radar how old are they?' asked B.J.

'They are um let me see well they are 14 sir however the field marshals are 13 and Lords, The heroes vary in age from 30 to 18 and the Jedi are about 30 and 20 sirs.

'Field Marshals who are 13 and Lords!!!!! Girls who are teenagers? Jedi?

'Yes sir and the girls are pregnant too sirs' said Radar

'Dam you rotten Luck by giving us girls who are already pregnant and different nationalities!' cried Hawkeye

'Oh and they are calling for Majors Burns and Hot Lips execution by the men of the group.' Said Radar

'Come-on B.J. lets go and watch then die!' said Hawkeye

'The list of charges are as followed; Assaulting a officer, assaulting a higher ranked officer, getting the head nurse pregnant, Going over the head of a Field Marshal, Trying to have sex with the guests of a field Marshal ………………………………………………' said Nick

**Two hours latter**

We have found you guilty of all these charges and now we will shoot you as spies' Said Nick

**The firing squad consisted of Nick, Matt, Zack and Max**

'Firing squad present arms! Load! Aim! Fire when I say so! Fire!' Cried Nick

**Four pops rang out and Burns fell dead with his head cut off from four bullets**

'Firing squad present arms! Load! Aim! Fire when I say so! Fire! Cried Nick

**Four pops rang out and Hot Lips fell dead with her head cut off from four bullets**

'Hey Nick was that not easy executing our least favorite characters and changing the history of M*A*S*H* at the same time?' said Matt

'Yes it was now Max how do you fell any vomiting, Diarrhea or constipation? Said Nick

'No but I don't feel well taking a life takes a lot out of you.' Said Max

**Authors Notes; I always wanted to execute them. Will write more soon. Read and Review.**

DISCLAMER I do not own Star wars the clone wars, Hogan Heroes, Where in the World is Carmon Santiago. Pokémon or M*A*S*H* and I do not own any characters related to their respected shows.

Chapter six

surprises

by

Spunt

'Well everyone me and matt have done some DNA tests ad we have figured out some surprises. Said Nick

'First Asoka you do not have a farther for your child so Zack you are off the hook and personally I do not believe you could sleep with her. Said Matt

'Anyway snips this is due to a rare birth defect called nofartherforbabyitus which causes a baby to form without sexual contact.' Said Anakin

'Ivy your baby's farther is your boyfriend.' Said Matt

'But the biggest surprise for all of us was the fact that Ash you are not May's Childs farther and that title belongs to…………………………………………….

**Author's Notes; I wanted a cliff hanger. Who will it be who do you thin? Sorry for short chapter Read and review!**


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